The Verdict
Today’s book is pure nostalgia. It’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the novel of the nineteen ninety movie, by B. B. Hiller.
My verdict: it’s a fun, fast read, especially for younger fans, and it has more heart than you’d expect. But it’s a movie tie-in, so the writing is simple and the fights are better on screen. I give it three and a half out of five.
What It Is
This is a short novelization of the first live action Turtles movie, written for kids. It’s around fifteen thousand words, in twenty three short chapters, and you can read it in an afternoon.
It follows the film’s story closely: four turtle brothers living in the New York sewers, their rat master Splinter, a reporter named April O’Neil, and a ninja gang called the Foot.
The Story
A crime wave is hitting New York, and April is the only reporter asking about the Foot. When the Foot go after her, Raphael rescues her and brings her home to the sewer.
Then Splinter is kidnapped, April’s apartment is burned, and the Turtles retreat to a farm to heal. I won’t say more, but the second half is all about getting their master back.
The Brothers
The book does a nice job telling the four apart. Leonardo, the serious leader. Raphael, angry and hot headed. Donatello, the fixer who rides a skateboard. And Michelangelo, the joker who mostly thinks about pizza.
Around them are Splinter, wise and calm, April, who’s brave and funny, and Casey Jones, a vigilante in a hockey mask.
What Works
First, the heart. Underneath the jokes, this is a story about family, about anger, and about learning to rely on each other. Splinter’s lessons land.
Second, the humor. The pizza delivery scene, Michelangelo’s impressions, and the brothers’ one liners are just as silly on the page.
Third, Danny Pennington, the boss’s son who joins the Foot. His story gives the book a real moral choice, and it’s one of the best parts.
What Doesn’t
Now the honest part. First, the writing is very plain. It tells you what characters feel instead of showing it, and there’s not much description.
Second, the action. Fights that are thrilling on screen become a quick list of punches and kicks.
Third, it’s very much of its time. The slang, the TV references and a few jokes are pure nineteen ninety, and some of them haven’t aged well.
Content Notes
It’s written for kids, but there’s plenty of martial arts violence, a teenager killed by his own instructor, and a villain who dies at the end.
The Scorecard
My scores. Fun, four and a half out of five. Characters, four. Heart, four. Writing, two and a half. Action, three. That averages to three and a half.
Who It’s For
Read it if you’re a kid who loves the Turtles, if you grew up with the nineteen ninety movie, or if you want a quick, cozy nostalgia trip.
Skip it if you want the darker, original comics by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, or if you’ve seen the movie and want something new.
Where To Go Next
I’ve also made a full summary of the story and a book versus movie comparison, with news on the next Turtles films. They’re linked below. Tell me in the comments: who’s your favorite Turtle?
